Milestone!

I hit another milestone this week; I weighed less than 200 pounds at my weigh-in.   My reaction at seeing those numbers on the scale were to first jump and squeal (loudly), but then, as it sank in, I actually started to cry a little.

They were tears of happiness because I never thought I’d be able to stick with a program long enough to accomplish what I’ve accomplished so far.   If the truth is to be known, I had almost (almost!) resigned myself to always being obese and “less than”.  Less than what I could be.

They were tears of relief.  I was relieved to cross that 200 number, because now I’m renewed and feel like I truly will be able to lose the last 40 pounds that I want to lose.

They were tears of frustration.  It’s frustrating to have to be aware of every morsel of food that goes into your mouth.  I’ve come to realize that as a person who has always had a weight problem, that I’ll never have the freedom to eat anything, anytime, anywhere and not have to eat smaller, simpler, lighter dishes the same week to counteract the richer, sweeter, fatter foods.  I’m ok with that…now.

Finally, they were tears wonder.  The wonder of a new life to come as a happier, thinner, healthier person.