I just had my lunch. It was good. I had a bowl of homemade chili and a sandwich with homemade pimento cheese.
It was filling.
I’m not hungry.
Why…why am I sitting here fighting an urge to find something sweet? Does the want for sweet and unhealthy foods ever go away?
I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. I was a chubby-cheeked first grader and an obese college graduate. Many times during my life I’ve wondered why I am on this path. There are so many whys.
Why do I love sweet foods?
Why does it take more to physically satisfy me?
Why do I eat so fast?
Why don’t I get sick from over-eating?
Why does so much of my life revolve around food?
I’m trying to reinvent myself when it comes to my relationship with food. I love it, and while I am often jealous of people who eat to live instead of living to eat, I know that I wouldn’t be as happy as I am without my drive to cook and test and preserve foods. So where does this leave me?
In a perfect world I wouldn’t crave the foods that are bad for me. It’s not a perfect world. I don’t want to become one of those people who scours the world for sweet-food substitutes. I’m not sure I completely trust artificial sweeteners, even though I do use them on occasion. Isn’t it better to eat a little bit of a more natural food than a lot of an over-processed, artificially-sweetened food? I believe it is.
So where does this leave me?
Well, I know the road to better health is a journey. I’m not going to get there overnight. I’m beginning to realize that this is a journey with no end. If I stop on this journey, it’ll mean that I’ve stopped trying to make better choices. It’ll mean that I’ve stopped striving to be a healthier person. It’ll mean that I’ve stopped trying to reach (or maintain) my healthy weight.
This journey can never end.
I just learned something else. When I sat down to write this, I was tormented by the demons of sugar, and now, just a few minutes later, my cravings have lessened considerably. My never-ending journey just took a detour; a detour that has allowed me to stop thinking about how much I want something sweet. Yes, this journey will have lots of twists, turns and detours as I figure out what works for me.
For now, my craving has gone away, thanks to this blog and my desire to be honest about what I’m thinking, feeling and doing about getting healthy.
What demons do you battle, and what works for you?