Better Choices, Better Results

Adventures in Zumba-Land

Zumba

This is NOT me. This woman has rhythm!

I took my first official Zumba class last night with a friend.  Let’s just say that I’m not ready for Dancing with the Stars

I feel I must tell my story by starting at the bottom (my feet) and working my way up.

Before I get into that, I have to tell you that I was certainly intimidated by one fellow Zumba classmate.  This man came into class early to claim his spot (like us) and began to stretch.  He had his legs in some pretty severe contortionist positions, and I knew – at that moment – that this middle-aged, rhythm-less woman was in for the experience of a lifetime.

The Feet:

My feet are not yet ready for any moves that require rhythm.  I cannot follow complicated footwork, and something tells me that what we did last night barely even touches on complicated.  By the time I got a simple tap-tap-step movement conquered, the rest of the class had moved on to another step.  Forget about the circles that they were turning in the middle of step combinations!  I nearly fell attempting them, so I just kind did my own thing during the 360s.  Shall we even mention the Samba steps?  No…I think that story is best saved for another edition.

The Knees:

My knees are very stiff this morning.  We were in a squatting position for many of the moves.  I’m obviously not holding this squat properly, because my quads should be feeling the soreness – not my knees.

The Hips:

Our Instructor was about 22 years old and thin.  I swear – her hips could NOT have been connected to her spine and legs!  They twitched back and forth much too easily to have been attached!  Hawaiian belly-dancers have nothing on this instructor. 

My hips, on the other hand, are FIRMLY connected to my spine and legs…and also to some invisible steel cables that were anchored to the floor.  Every time I tried any Hip-Twitching, I felt my spine popping.  I’m pretty sure that a longer class would have resulted in the separation of my pelvis and spine.

The Waist:

Have you ever seen the infomercials for Zumba DVDs?  If so, I’m sure you’ll remember watching the women do these intense pelvic thrust/booty-shaking/waist-twisting movements.  Yes.  Those were in our work-out last night.  I’m still ashamed of how my body looked trying to pull those off.  Sad.  Very sad.

The Shoulders and Arms:

OK.  I didn’t do too badly in this arena.  I kept up pretty well, although at times there were these moves that I can only describe as unnatural for me.  Slap-the-knees-and-double-fist-pump-with-a-finger-point-at-the-end.  Uh huh.  That’s me! 

The Head:

Besides sweating profusely and turning bright red with the effort I was expending, my head was amazed that – even though I wasn’t doing the moves correctly – I was also sort-of keeping up with the crowd and NOT GIVING UP!!!!

Do you know how amazing that feels? 

I wonder if someone teaches a beginning Zumba class where the movements are slow and easy until you get the hang of it.  I would definitely be interested in that.

That’s it for this installment of Adventures in Zumba-land.  Have you ever tried it?

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